This is one that I know ever so slightly, but I'm not perfect, so I sent out a plea on Twitter just now asking for help, and the inimitable @d0tpark3r came through for me, as usual, recommending this site:
Grammar Girl : Lay Versus Lie :: Quick and Dirty Tips. I'm so happy (in a way) to see the author say that it's a complicated subject, because that makes me feel not so stupid. ;)
Here's what she says about present tense:
It's pretty easy; you lay something down, and people lie down by themselves.
It gets tricky in past tense, though, and that's where I have the most trouble. I'm not going to repeat the details here. She has a chart on the website, as well as examples written out. Go take a look. I'll be referencing it often.
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